Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
This is my movie theatre BITCH!
Walking around the city, trying to fit in a few too many things before catching our pre-purchased movie (Two Lovers), we made the mistake of sitting down to have a Gyro before heading off to Sunshine movie theater. The Gyro had promise, at least gauging by the earnest discussion I had with the man behind the counter about what that rotating slab of meat was made from . He detailed that it was actually spiral strips of packed meat wrapped around the rotating pole, which they construct from scratch each time. It was still dripping with blood, when I made sure with him that this one was note quite ready to be eaten. I contemplated out loud to him that it would be cool if that was an actual large slab of meat, like the hind leg of a cow just spinning around like that on the corner of Houston and Ludlow, and after a 5 second pause, he muttered, "yeah it would be" and gave me my falafel Gyro sandwich.
Something in the sandwich was rancid and I ruined Julie's enjoyment of it with the face I made after my first bite. I tried to conceal it, but she asked me what was wrong and I couldn't think of any easy way to explain my grimace. We threw it out and rushed to the theatre, where we were told that there are no seats left for 2 to sit together, but we are welcome to look, or we can trade in for the later showing. Julie almost lost it, blaming it on the stupid Gyro and explaining to the ticket girl that we have a babysitter and can't catch the later show, etc. etc. etc., as I bit my lip from saying that the ticket girl could care less about our problems.
After making an entire row shift over, we secured 2 seats next to each other in the second row, with enough room to throw all our stuff down in the vacant seats of the first row in front of us. Necks craned, but happy to be seated next to each other capping off a good Sunday, we engrossed ourselves in the previews. During the last preview, a couple walks in and without really asking us to move our stuff, begins to nearly sit down on the $40 painting we bought on the street an hour before. I had to hold my hand against the lady's ass to restrain her from actually lowering herself down on our stuff. In retrospect, I did think it was strange not to at least get a thank you for moving our stuff, not that I thought we owned the seat in front of us, but mostly because they made me miss the last preview while having to awkwardly have my hand holding the girl's ass to protect our stuff. I mean she began to sit the way one would on their own sofa after working all day, i.e. you literally fall back into it. She knew our stuff was there...only kind enough to give me half a second to clear the seat for her to sit.
The movie started, with a failed suicide nonetheless, and without noticing, another couple seemed to be standing by the first row, apparently waiting for us to move our stuff from the adjacent seat we threw it on. Fair enough, no big deal, typical NYC movie stuff...that is until couple #1 tough guy muttered, "You know people want to sit down, maybe you could move your stuff asshole". Adrenaline rushed a bit, but I restrained myself and focused on trying not to miss the failed suicide opening scene, while starting to grab my stuff, only to see that couple #2 found a better seat and changed their minds. I couldn't resist but to mutter to tough guy of couple #1, "I guess they didn't want to sit there, huh buddy?", to which I was gifted, "Fuck you, this is my movie theatre BITCH"! And I swear, there was not one ounce of irony in his voice. Despite that, Julie found the irony of it for herself I guess, and burst out laughing, getting myself and a few other surrounding us to join in contagiously. If we were sitting in normal seats where our viewpoint was not angled up 70 degrees, maybe it would have been expected that we see people that might want to potentially sit in front of us, but that was not the case here...We conferred with each other, agreed we did nothing wrong and had the upper hand, and proceeded to try to enjoy the rest of the movie. Although admittedly I ran through every possible scenario...what if he were to get up, would I be able to contain myself from punching him in the face? Then images of the cops handcuffing me ran through my head and as I cooled down, alternative scenarios popped up like goading him into punching me and getting him carted away, etc.
Ten minutes later, in a complete roundabout, I think after some pleading from his girlfriend, he put out his palm (like a "time out" or "hold on" gesture) and made eye contact to say, "I'm sorry" turning quickly back around...and that was it; until after the movie when he scurried out to the exit leaving his lady to have the awkwardness of making eye contact with us as we struggled to find where all our stuff went in the multiple moves.
Who's movie theatre is it now, dickhead?
Something in the sandwich was rancid and I ruined Julie's enjoyment of it with the face I made after my first bite. I tried to conceal it, but she asked me what was wrong and I couldn't think of any easy way to explain my grimace. We threw it out and rushed to the theatre, where we were told that there are no seats left for 2 to sit together, but we are welcome to look, or we can trade in for the later showing. Julie almost lost it, blaming it on the stupid Gyro and explaining to the ticket girl that we have a babysitter and can't catch the later show, etc. etc. etc., as I bit my lip from saying that the ticket girl could care less about our problems.
After making an entire row shift over, we secured 2 seats next to each other in the second row, with enough room to throw all our stuff down in the vacant seats of the first row in front of us. Necks craned, but happy to be seated next to each other capping off a good Sunday, we engrossed ourselves in the previews. During the last preview, a couple walks in and without really asking us to move our stuff, begins to nearly sit down on the $40 painting we bought on the street an hour before. I had to hold my hand against the lady's ass to restrain her from actually lowering herself down on our stuff. In retrospect, I did think it was strange not to at least get a thank you for moving our stuff, not that I thought we owned the seat in front of us, but mostly because they made me miss the last preview while having to awkwardly have my hand holding the girl's ass to protect our stuff. I mean she began to sit the way one would on their own sofa after working all day, i.e. you literally fall back into it. She knew our stuff was there...only kind enough to give me half a second to clear the seat for her to sit.
The movie started, with a failed suicide nonetheless, and without noticing, another couple seemed to be standing by the first row, apparently waiting for us to move our stuff from the adjacent seat we threw it on. Fair enough, no big deal, typical NYC movie stuff...that is until couple #1 tough guy muttered, "You know people want to sit down, maybe you could move your stuff asshole". Adrenaline rushed a bit, but I restrained myself and focused on trying not to miss the failed suicide opening scene, while starting to grab my stuff, only to see that couple #2 found a better seat and changed their minds. I couldn't resist but to mutter to tough guy of couple #1, "I guess they didn't want to sit there, huh buddy?", to which I was gifted, "Fuck you, this is my movie theatre BITCH"! And I swear, there was not one ounce of irony in his voice. Despite that, Julie found the irony of it for herself I guess, and burst out laughing, getting myself and a few other surrounding us to join in contagiously. If we were sitting in normal seats where our viewpoint was not angled up 70 degrees, maybe it would have been expected that we see people that might want to potentially sit in front of us, but that was not the case here...We conferred with each other, agreed we did nothing wrong and had the upper hand, and proceeded to try to enjoy the rest of the movie. Although admittedly I ran through every possible scenario...what if he were to get up, would I be able to contain myself from punching him in the face? Then images of the cops handcuffing me ran through my head and as I cooled down, alternative scenarios popped up like goading him into punching me and getting him carted away, etc.
Ten minutes later, in a complete roundabout, I think after some pleading from his girlfriend, he put out his palm (like a "time out" or "hold on" gesture) and made eye contact to say, "I'm sorry" turning quickly back around...and that was it; until after the movie when he scurried out to the exit leaving his lady to have the awkwardness of making eye contact with us as we struggled to find where all our stuff went in the multiple moves.
Who's movie theatre is it now, dickhead?
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